Saint King Tamar and the Mystery of the Side: God’s Design for Men and Women

by Michelle Brown

In the rich history of the Orthodox Church, few figures shine as brightly as Saint Tamar, often called “King Tamar” of Georgia. Born in 1166, at the tender age of 12, Tamar was proclaimed co-ruler with her father, King George III. At the age of just 18, upon his death in 1184, she ascended as the sole sovereign of Georgia and ruled until 1213. Uniquely titled “mepe” (King) in Georgian, she exercised full royal authority during what became known as Georgia’s Golden Age. Her father had included bestowing this specific title on her in his last will and testament to insure her authority was not diminished because of her gender. Tamar’s reign was marked by both spiritual depth and worldly success.

Facing repeated Muslim invasions, she led her armies to decisive victories at Shamkori in 1195 and Basiani around 1204. Yet her greatest strength was not military might but profound piety. She prayed barefoot before icons of the Theotokos, lived ascetically with night vigils and fasting while her army fought in battle, founded monasteries such as the famous rock-hewn complex at Vardzia, and built numerous churches. Known for her mercy, she abolished the death penalty and torture. Humble and generous, despite her position as Georgia’s ruler, she personally cared for the poor and supported Orthodox institutions across the Christian world. Exhausted by her ascetic labors, she reposed peacefully in 1213 and is commemorated as a saint on May 1.

This extraordinary rule of a woman as “King” was celebrated in Georgian culture through the national epic The Knight in the Panther’s Skin by the poet Shota Rustaveli, a contemporary of Tamar. In it, Rustaveli famously wrote (in paraphrase): “It doesn’t matter if it’s the lion or the lioness — they are both lions.” The original Georgian line refers to lion cubs being equal whether male or female. The lion has long symbolized royalty, courage, and sovereignty in Georgia. By using this metaphor for Tamar, Rustaveli affirmed that a female ruler was not lesser or anomalous but fully possessed the same noble essence and right to rule as a male king. A lioness does not need to become a lion to be regal; she is already a lion in her own right. This cultural expression beautifully captures the medieval Georgian confidence that leadership, virtue, and royal dignity belong equally to both sexes without erasing the natural distinction between lion and lioness. It reflects a deep cultural respect for women of capability and strength, embodied supremely in Saint Tamar herself.

Saint Tamar’s extraordinary life beautifully illustrates the Orthodox Church’s vision of men and women. The Church teaches that both are created in the image and likeness of God (Genesis 1:27) and are equal in dignity and capacity for holiness, as Galatians 3:28 affirms.

Yet this equality exists within a framework of complementarity and mutual submission. This vision is rooted deeply in the creation account of Genesis 2. Many are familiar with the English translation that God took one of Adam’s “ribs” to form Eve. However, the Hebrew word used is tsela (צֵלָע). In nearly every other occurrence in Scripture, tsela means “side,” as in the side of the Tabernacle (Exodus 25:12, 26:26), a hill, or a building. Ancient Jewish commentators, including those in the Talmud (Berakhot 61a) and Rashi on Genesis 2:21, understand this as God taking a “side” of the first human being. In Georgian tradition, this “side” is better understand as “half” of humanity. Rather than forming Eve from dust like the animals, God built her from Adam’s own side.

This act underscores profound equality and unity: woman is not subordinate or secondary but formed from the same substance as man. Adam’s joyful declaration, “bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh” (Genesis 2:23), recognizes this shared nature. The imagery suggests that humanity was divided into two complementary halves, masculine and feminine, designed to stand side by side as partners. They are not fully complete without one another, coming together in the “one flesh” union of marriage (Genesis 2:24). Orthodox tradition echoes this reading. The Fathers, including Saint John Chrysostom, emphasize that Eve’s creation from the side shows equality, not hierarchy of worth.

This understanding of complementarity leads directly to the Church’s teaching on mutual submission between the genders. Ephesians 5:21 sets the foundation for all Christian relationships: “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” What follows spells out how that mutuality looks in marriage. Wives are called to submit to husbands as the Church submits to Christ, while husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself up for her. Christ demonstrates the ultimate example of self-giving love by voluntarily emptying Himself of exercising His rightful divine authority and choosing to lay down His life for the Church. This ordered relationship reflects the life of the Holy Trinity itself.

Saint Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 11:3 that “the head of Christ is God.” Christ possesses full divine authority and equality with the Father yet willingly submits to Him in love and in the economy of salvation. This submission does not diminish His divinity or worth. It reveals perfect, self-emptying love. Likewise, a wife’s submission to her husband is not inferiority or servitude but a free, Christ-like gift.

A husband’s headship is never domination. It is sacrificial, self-giving love that lays down his life for his wife. Both spouses submit to one another, wives in respectful obedience and husbands in self-sacrificial service, within an ordered complementarity that images the Trinity and the mystery of Christ and the Church. Saint King Tamar embodied this balance. She ruled with kingly wisdom and courage while living in total submission to God and the Church. In her we see the calling of both masculinity and feminity: equal in dignity, complementary in calling, and united in mutual, Christ-like submission for the glory of God.

Some Christian traditions, particularly within certain strands of fundamentalism, have misunderstood this ordered relationship. They have interpreted headship as a demand that men “rule” their wives in every way, often leading husbands and wives to feel forced to betray their God-given gifts and abilities. Wives with leadership talents or professional callings may suppress them to fit a rigid paradigm of constant subordination. Husbands may feel pressured to dominate rather than serve sacrificially. This distortion turns complementarity into oppression and equality into hierarchy of worth. It ignores the mutual submission commanded in Ephesians 5:21 and the self-emptying example of Christ.

Orthodoxy paves the Royal Path, the balanced middle way, between modern feminism and such fundamentalism. Modern feminism often seeks to erase all distinctions between men and women, treating complementarity as outdated and roles as interchangeable. It can deny the beauty of distinct vocations and the ordered relationships rooted in Scripture and Tradition.

Fundamentalism, on the other hand, can exaggerate hierarchy into domination and suppress the full flourishing of both genders. Orthodoxy honors both men and women equally in dignity while affirming that they have different roles. Men and women are equal but not identical. For example, women cannot offer the sacrifice of the Eucharist because the priesthood is a male vocation that images Christ the Bridegroom. Men cannot offer the sacrifice of bringing life into the world and the Church through the unique gift of motherhood. These distinct roles are of equal importance in bringing Life in to the Church and are not limitations but sacred callings that allow each to reflect different aspects of the divine image.

In this Royal Path, both genders flourish fully when they embrace their equality in Christ and their complementary vocations in mutual submission.

Saint King Tamar shows us that a woman can exercise profound authority and leadership while living in humble obedience to God. Men and women together, side by side as in the original creation, build up the Church and the kingdom. In a world that swings between erasing differences and enforcing rigid dominance, the Orthodox vision offers true freedom. It calls us back to Genesis, to the side of Adam and the side of Christ, and to lives of mutual, loving submission that mirror the life of the Trinity.

May Saint King Tamar intercede for us as we seek to live this beautiful mystery in our homes, our parishes, and our world.

For more about Saint King Tamar, you may find THIS article a helpful start.

For more about gender in Orthodoxy, I can't recommend Zac Porcu's podcast series on Feminism and Femininty enough! You can find all of the series recordings on his Substack HERE. He is a catechist at Father Josiah Trenham's parish, St. Andrew in Riverside, CA.